This is the continued story of the girl with the helmet, she doesn't use it much anymore for she can no longer walk.....drawing is very different for me than it was but I must keep trying. Reading has slowed down much as well. I have been diagnosed as having epilepsy, autoimmune disease, and distonia among other things.
Welcome to the wild wicked world of seizures, you travel forwards but in a way it's reverse. Your friends grow up and move away, they have kids and husbands .......but you got stuck, all that traveling forward made you miss so much you didn't quite change the same way.
I don't know what I think of it all.... but I do know that I have a headache the size of Alaska! Yeah, it's bigger than Texas.
I'll just be rolling onwards.
Oh how I miss the cabin in Virginia that is no longer mine.
It was a mere dream to live there.
No phone reception, no computer and no television.
Simple , and thoughts are not easily interrupted.
But it was just a dream, it was fleeting.
Like my parents marriage, my ability to walk and see....and so many other things, they drifted away.
And my life is drifting.
Seizures here, seizures there, and everything is mixed up good.
This I do not enjoy.
I will hopefully wake up someday and it will be over...no more drifting.
Until then I will be rolling onwards.
So quite a bit of my life has been spent, lost in seizure land or perhaps Never Neverland... and I wake up and realize that everything has gone onwards, I go onwards in my own way but it is definitely not the same.
People grew up and have children now and I begin to wonder if this is how Peter Pan felt looking into Wendy's window only to find she had a daughter of her own, that Wendy grew up.
Some of my most recent adventures are stories in my own mind as I lay upon my bed, grand adventures of discovering a zydeco music in the middle of the forest with long lost cousins and rowboating to an island where you need not speak but simply look into the eyes of those who live there and if you are strong enough you will hear their stories.
Lands of swirling sticky bright colors like a melted lolly that twinkle like a wind chime.
Lands where I must travel to alone....I meet strangers.
I am a time traveler and I can go forwards and it's very exhausting....but I don't very much know what to do about the lands my mind brought me to.... and when I come back, this world is so dark and blurry I am really quite honestly out of sorts.
